Okay married women, I need some help and advice. I never thought I'd be this girl, but the past few days have brought me to many tears, many heart flutters and much stress, feeling completely overwhelmed...like I'm drowning or like all four walls are caving in on me.
Kay, it's like this. I think it's been hitting me that my life is about to change completely and in every area and this is a really scary thing for me. Fact is, Cyndy Bartel SUCKS at change, whether it's good or bad - in this case it's obviously a good change. My parents laugh when they remember many moons ago (I must have been about 6 or 7) when they bought me a new dresser for my room. I cried and cried because I didn't want to part with the one I already had - it was familiar...comfortable. Now, multiply that by 1000 percent and that's how I've been feeling the last few days. It's such a mix. I'm ecstatic beyond belief about getting married, being a wife, living with Warren, etc. It's just all so HUGE to me when I'm standing at the beginning of it all. SO out of my comfort zone. Yesterday we packed up all of our stuff and my room and moved most of it to our new appartment. I cried myself silly (in secret) packing up my room...my life...everything that I've known. Am I insane??? Have any of you girls felt like this when you were going through all of the big stuff days before you headed for the altar??
I guess I want to ask for your prayers too. I don't want these emotions to cloud my next few days and mask what this really is. This is such a fun and exciting time and I am head over heels in love with Warren. I pray that I'll be able to keep it all in perspective and enjoy it all, soaking it all in. Hit me back, if you have any advice.
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6 comments:
cyndy...crying is so normal. At least it's all hitting you now, and not at rehearsal.
For me we were just starting rehearsal dinner and i totally lost it! i hid in this small sunday school room and was bawling...my bridesmaids found me in there...a total wreck.
Poor Matt, he heard someone say "Patti's crying in that room" and was sure the wedding was off!
It just all came at me at that moment...all the months of stress, anxiety, excitement - just hit me! BAM!
But I got it all out and was fine...didn't even cry during the actual ceremony because i was so at peace from the night before...Matt on the other hand shed some tears during the ceremony. (very cute)
So just know that it's ok to feel this way. Many a woman has in the past, and many more will in the future.
Take care
Oh Cyndy! Please don't be sad. Crying is totally OK, and very normal (just ask Drew, I cry a few times a week), but you have so many wonderful things to look forward to.
I must admit that I never cried about the changes that came with getting married, but I cried during the rehearsal just because I was so full of emotion and love for Drew.
The Thursday evening before the wedding though, when all the family was arriving, and all the details were driving me insane, I did have a bit of a breakdown. I was frustrated and angry, and Drew forced me to go for a short walk around the block.
He held my hand and said "You need to remember why we're doing this." And he was so right!
Yes, it's very scary to venture into something so new and foreign, but the rewards are too numerous to imagine. So just remember why you're doing this, and praise God that you'll have a loving husband to help you through all the other changes that will come, and to hold you when you cry.
Please enjoy your day, and know that your feelings are totally allowed!!
Andrea
good idea to cry now and let it all out :) i, like andrea, had a little nervous breakdown the day before the wedding while decorating and all the little details were freaking me out...but you being the detail queen can do it! relax as much as you can! a week to go- how awesome :)
You don't know me, but I've come across your blog a few times from reading Patti's blog, who I know quite well.
I just got married this past August, 2005...and it has almost been 4 months since we have been married! The time flies by so quickly!
It has been so wonderful to read your blog:) You are having many of the same feelings I had before I was married...and it was neat to be able to read them through another person's perspective.
I am not one for change either:) I can totally understand where you are coming from on that. It was really hard for me to, when I had to pack up my room and my life that I had and jump into a whole new life. It was scary and exciting all at the same time. I think its really great for you to be able to cry, I sure did:)
It definitly takes a lot of getting used to when you close one chapter of your life and begin a new one. Doesn't mean that it is at all bad, it is exciting! But it takes some time to be able to let go and move on.
Somehow, it seems that every possible emotion displays itself during a wedding:) It is overwhelming and exciting, and scary and thrilling, and the day before you are just down right anxious! But I promise it settles down...and you will enjoy married life so much!
As someone else said, the rewards of marriage are so wonderful and great. Just know that you are not alone...and that it is ok to grieve and cry and remember the things you are leaving behind. The important part is to focus on what is ahead, and let yourself enjoy every minute of it!
Congratulations! Have such a wonderful day. And blessings to you as you grow closer together and learn how to love each other more deeply and love Christ.
Melissa Thiessen
Thanks everyone for your encouragement! I've been feeling a lot more relaxed the past day or so...let's hope this continues. Last night I went on a date with my dad - something we've been doing together since I was a girl in pigtails. It was pretty special and much needed. It helped put everyting in perspective. I love my dad!!
I am extremely blessed to be marrying such a wonderful guy as Warren and I love him with everything that I am. This morning, Warren and I prayed about it all together and I'm really working at breathing, chilling and giving it all to God. The day will be for Him anyway and it is my sincere prayer that people will see Him throughout our wedding.
Anyway, I loved all of your advice and thoughts and I appreciate you all. 5 more days until I'm a Toews!! WOW. There is much to do... I'l keep you posted.
sweetie! i just want to give you such a big hug right now! i wish i could be there for you.
all of the things people said above happened to me too. and i got all of my tears out the nite before the wedding (don't hold back!). one of the most emotional times for me was just as they were about to open the doors for me to walk down the aisle. i just welled up, but as soon as i saw Rod smiling like crazy, i decided that instead of drowning away during the ceremony - i wanted to have fun & take everything in. and i did! and it was great. sometimes i wonder if people thought we weren't into it because we didn't cry...but everyone comments on how much fun they had at our wedding, and i know they still saw how much we loved each other. but it sure made my day easier not being so emotional.
you have put so much heart, time & energy into planning this big day. you are becoming a wife! you are committing THE REST OF YOUR LIFE to someone. how exciting!! but also, how scary! what you are feeling is so normal. and don't feel guilty for it! i bet you some of the same thoughts & emotions are going through Warren right now too! this is a huge event in your life, one to be enjoyed but also one to be taken seriously...and you are taking it seriously - that's why all of these emotions, excitements, fears & everything are coming to the surface! be happy about that, that means that you are not going into your marriage blindly or stupidly. you are dealing with the changes that are to be made, and you are ready to start spending your years with the man you love most. i'm glad you've been able to be a "weepy willow!". that shows how much this means to you.
i love you so much Cyn, and i know you will be the most beautiful bride ever, i know you will make an incredibly awesome, devoted, loving, caring wife to Warren, i know that you will make a beautiful home for the two of you, and one day you will be such an amazing mother. you have so much to look forward to, so much to plan for, so much to find joy in and so much to thank God for.
i hope that the days before your wedding, you will be able to see all of these things, and not so much the worries of the wedding.
HAVE FUN!!!! that's my two big words of advice. this wedding day is not for being sad...HAVE FUN! that's the whole point of it. to CELEBRATE your love, and your new life.
i wish so badly i could be there, know that you will be in my prayers all nite before & the day of. i love you, love you, love you & can't wait to see pics.
stay strong "Mrs. Toews".
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