We hit a deer last night. BAM! Just like that, our car was wrecked, our hearts were pounding and we were once again reminded of how fast and how unexpectedly life can change. Man. The situation could have looked a whole lot different.
After we called the cops to come put down the deer and continued on our way home, I was shaking like a leaf in my passenger seat, tears in my eyes. As I looked out the window and watched the scenery change as we drove on, I praised God for second chances, for wake up calls and for His great love. I looked up at Warren beside me and my heart felt full. I am blessed. I have love. That's all I need.
After such an emotionally draining week, I felt a renewed determination to live my life with more purpose. To have more intention in everything I do. We had no warning of hitting that deer, and in the same way, we have no warning of what tomorrow will bring in our own personal
fate.
It's time to shine.*
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Forever Changed
I have so much to say, but every time I've gone to type something this week, I'm left staring at a blank screen, tears welling up in my eyes.
I've been so overcome with grief and sadness for a guy I only knew of, never really having any real contact with him. My heart just aches for his wife and his family. The tears just won't stop.
As I've spent a great deal of time reading related blogs, comments and facebook entries this week, I've been overwhelmed by this amazing Christian community holding up the Toews family. In a time that seems impossible, where the tears are never-ending and an extreme amount of exhaustian has taken over, all we can do is hold them up in prayer and believe that God will do the rest.
We question. We ask, Why God? Why Nate? And why at such a young age when he was clearly living his life for You? But in the end, I have really been snapped back to a humble reality this week - God is in control and He will decide. Questioning is an endless circle. We are human. We can't possibly understand God's ways. We're small, standing before our Big God. He has always known that Nathan would come home to live with Him at this time, even back on the day he was born. He knows that timeline for all of us.
We seem to think we're invincible. I often do. We get so caught up in day-to-day stuff, that we almost get cocky and lazy in how we're spending our time here on earth and how we're fostering our relationships. Nate's story has richly affected me. I've never felt this way before, it's something pretty big. I believe that God is doing amazing things though this incredibly tragic situation, and changing people through it. Talk about an intense sense of timing. On a day where the Toews family experienced a horrific death in the family, they also experienced this miracle birth, welcoming Caleb Nathan into the family. That's our God.
I stand, I stand in awe of You.
How am I living my life? What would people say about me if I died? It's been a huge question in my mind this week. I can't shake it. It has brought me to a quiet place.
I thought Jamie said it so well in her last blog entry. We are God's. Our bodies are not our own. They are simply shells, a holding space for our time here on earth. What an encouragement to know that Nathan isn't dead. Physically, he's gone, but he is alive and well, prasing his Father in Heaven. That's a blessing.
More than anything, I want to wrap my arms around Rosanna and the rest of the family during this time. I am praying for you constantly. Time will ease this excrutiating pain you feel. It will. You will always miss Nate, always. But we serve a loving Father who understands and will walk with you the whole way. You will never be alone.
I am forever changed.*
I've been so overcome with grief and sadness for a guy I only knew of, never really having any real contact with him. My heart just aches for his wife and his family. The tears just won't stop.
As I've spent a great deal of time reading related blogs, comments and facebook entries this week, I've been overwhelmed by this amazing Christian community holding up the Toews family. In a time that seems impossible, where the tears are never-ending and an extreme amount of exhaustian has taken over, all we can do is hold them up in prayer and believe that God will do the rest.
We question. We ask, Why God? Why Nate? And why at such a young age when he was clearly living his life for You? But in the end, I have really been snapped back to a humble reality this week - God is in control and He will decide. Questioning is an endless circle. We are human. We can't possibly understand God's ways. We're small, standing before our Big God. He has always known that Nathan would come home to live with Him at this time, even back on the day he was born. He knows that timeline for all of us.
We seem to think we're invincible. I often do. We get so caught up in day-to-day stuff, that we almost get cocky and lazy in how we're spending our time here on earth and how we're fostering our relationships. Nate's story has richly affected me. I've never felt this way before, it's something pretty big. I believe that God is doing amazing things though this incredibly tragic situation, and changing people through it. Talk about an intense sense of timing. On a day where the Toews family experienced a horrific death in the family, they also experienced this miracle birth, welcoming Caleb Nathan into the family. That's our God.
I stand, I stand in awe of You.
How am I living my life? What would people say about me if I died? It's been a huge question in my mind this week. I can't shake it. It has brought me to a quiet place.
I thought Jamie said it so well in her last blog entry. We are God's. Our bodies are not our own. They are simply shells, a holding space for our time here on earth. What an encouragement to know that Nathan isn't dead. Physically, he's gone, but he is alive and well, prasing his Father in Heaven. That's a blessing.
More than anything, I want to wrap my arms around Rosanna and the rest of the family during this time. I am praying for you constantly. Time will ease this excrutiating pain you feel. It will. You will always miss Nate, always. But we serve a loving Father who understands and will walk with you the whole way. You will never be alone.
I am forever changed.*
Monday, July 16, 2007
Rustic Heaven
A much needed getaway. That's what this weekend was. Life has been
a ball of chaos for us for the past month and getting away with some friends was just what the doctor ordered.
On Saturday, Steve & Sandy Dick and Warren & I packed up the Escape and headed for the lake, leaving our worries behind. It was
wonderful. Wonderful. Steve's family owns a cabin near Echo Bay, and we were able to use it for 2 days. We had some really great talks, laughed tons (as usual) and enjoyed each other. God is good.
Later on that evening, Brad & Angel joined us, bringing even more life to the party, as you can imagine. We chilled by the fire....until the lightening storm hit, that is....ate lots of food, and cozied up to watch a movie until 2am. It's so much fun doing stuff with other married couples. I really felt blessed this weekend.
I guess more than anything, I thank God for friends. Friends who share the same values as us and give us so much support. What a blessing.
And between the three couples, we're all somewhat at the same stage in life. Steve & Sandy have recently started their own business - Steve's a journeyman electrician and he recently started his own company, Leading Edge Electric. Brad & Angel are really making a go of ranching and everything that includes. And Warren & I just bought the practice and are also business owners, learning, growing and
trying hard. So this weekend was the perfect ticket for getting away from it all and focusing on having fun and relaxing. No cell phones. No emails. No meetings. It's something I think we should do more often.*
a ball of chaos for us for the past month and getting away with some friends was just what the doctor ordered.On Saturday, Steve & Sandy Dick and Warren & I packed up the Escape and headed for the lake, leaving our worries behind. It was
wonderful. Wonderful. Steve's family owns a cabin near Echo Bay, and we were able to use it for 2 days. We had some really great talks, laughed tons (as usual) and enjoyed each other. God is good.Later on that evening, Brad & Angel joined us, bringing even more life to the party, as you can imagine. We chilled by the fire....until the lightening storm hit, that is....ate lots of food, and cozied up to watch a movie until 2am. It's so much fun doing stuff with other married couples. I really felt blessed this weekend.
I guess more than anything, I thank God for friends. Friends who share the same values as us and give us so much support. What a blessing.
And between the three couples, we're all somewhat at the same stage in life. Steve & Sandy have recently started their own business - Steve's a journeyman electrician and he recently started his own company, Leading Edge Electric. Brad & Angel are really making a go of ranching and everything that includes. And Warren & I just bought the practice and are also business owners, learning, growing and
trying hard. So this weekend was the perfect ticket for getting away from it all and focusing on having fun and relaxing. No cell phones. No emails. No meetings. It's something I think we should do more often.* Friday, July 13, 2007
Just Me.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope. Not that I know of.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Yesterday.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yeah, I think so. It's kind of a mix of writing and printing.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Oven Roasted Turkey Breast.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Not yet….we’re excited to someday….
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Absolutely!
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? A lot? No. But sometimes.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yup.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Do I have a death wish? No. There's your answer.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Don't really like it.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Anal / super organized Cyndy? Uh...yeah.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically? Nope. In character and personhood? Yeah.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? All of it! Aw man, I could live off of that stuff. I really love frozen yogurt.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their eyes and hair.
15. RED OR PINK? Well, it depends on what you're talking about. Hmmm... if you're talking about candy, I like red. Red means cherry and you usually can't go wrong with cherry flavoured anything...unless it's medicine. Ugghh barf. But that's a whole different story. Now if you're talking about sunburns, then pink, for sure. See, red would mean "Ouch!" and pink would mean a mild uncomfortableness, and a soon-to-be tan. But let's see...are we talking clothes? Then red. Definitely red. Never been a big pink girl. The odd time, yes. Not usually. ...So again, it depends.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I get frustrated at my intense need to have control and order in every area of my life. I'm a neat freak. I'm an organizational freak. I look at spontanious people and I think, "I could do that..." and then I snap back to reality and realize, yeah right. I also hate it when I lack confidence in certain situations and around certain people because I do consider myself to be confident in who I am. I'm learning. I'm growing. God is changing me and it's a continual process.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My family. Mom, Dad, Steve & Vicki, Jon & Karen. It sucks. Distance sucks. I hate it. Meh.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Whatever. I do like reading through them, though, I'm not gonna lie to you. Especially when work is slow and time's dragging.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? No pants....a sundress & silver ballet flats.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? A big old Mr. Freeze and it was perfect.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? C-95 FM.
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Baby Blue.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Summer. Hardware stores. Warren's cologne. Cookies in the oven. BBQing. Chlorine.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? A client at work...
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? N/A
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Much to Warren's dismay, uhhh... no thanks.
27. HAIR COLOR? Blonde. Highlighted. Summery.
28. EYE COLOR? Light Blue.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope.
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Cheesey hashbrowns. Tacos. Shishkabobs. Apple crisp. Stir fry.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. Definitely. No matter how predictable. Love 'em.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Waitress.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? See #19.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer. Summer. Summer.
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Apple crisp. Ice cream.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Skip.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Skip.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I'm not.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Something Optometry-ish. I can't remember the name.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Craig Ferguson. Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.
42. FAVORITE SOUND? Mikayla & Brookie laughing.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? I don't know.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Haiti or Europe.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Sketching.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Leamington, ON. Oh, how I miss it...
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Yesterday.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yeah, I think so. It's kind of a mix of writing and printing.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Oven Roasted Turkey Breast.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Not yet….we’re excited to someday….
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Absolutely!
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? A lot? No. But sometimes.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yup.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Do I have a death wish? No. There's your answer.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Don't really like it.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Anal / super organized Cyndy? Uh...yeah.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically? Nope. In character and personhood? Yeah.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? All of it! Aw man, I could live off of that stuff. I really love frozen yogurt.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their eyes and hair.
15. RED OR PINK? Well, it depends on what you're talking about. Hmmm... if you're talking about candy, I like red. Red means cherry and you usually can't go wrong with cherry flavoured anything...unless it's medicine. Ugghh barf. But that's a whole different story. Now if you're talking about sunburns, then pink, for sure. See, red would mean "Ouch!" and pink would mean a mild uncomfortableness, and a soon-to-be tan. But let's see...are we talking clothes? Then red. Definitely red. Never been a big pink girl. The odd time, yes. Not usually. ...So again, it depends.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I get frustrated at my intense need to have control and order in every area of my life. I'm a neat freak. I'm an organizational freak. I look at spontanious people and I think, "I could do that..." and then I snap back to reality and realize, yeah right. I also hate it when I lack confidence in certain situations and around certain people because I do consider myself to be confident in who I am. I'm learning. I'm growing. God is changing me and it's a continual process.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My family. Mom, Dad, Steve & Vicki, Jon & Karen. It sucks. Distance sucks. I hate it. Meh.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Whatever. I do like reading through them, though, I'm not gonna lie to you. Especially when work is slow and time's dragging.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? No pants....a sundress & silver ballet flats.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? A big old Mr. Freeze and it was perfect.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? C-95 FM.
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Baby Blue.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Summer. Hardware stores. Warren's cologne. Cookies in the oven. BBQing. Chlorine.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? A client at work...
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? N/A
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Much to Warren's dismay, uhhh... no thanks.
27. HAIR COLOR? Blonde. Highlighted. Summery.
28. EYE COLOR? Light Blue.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope.
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Cheesey hashbrowns. Tacos. Shishkabobs. Apple crisp. Stir fry.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. Definitely. No matter how predictable. Love 'em.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Waitress.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? See #19.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer. Summer. Summer.
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Apple crisp. Ice cream.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Skip.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Skip.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I'm not.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Something Optometry-ish. I can't remember the name.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Craig Ferguson. Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.
42. FAVORITE SOUND? Mikayla & Brookie laughing.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? I don't know.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Haiti or Europe.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Sketching.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Leamington, ON. Oh, how I miss it...
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